The Problem With Describing Other Peoples Problems
One of the main problems with trying to describe other peoples problems is that while you see it as a problem, you tend to stop short in the problem solving department.
We all do a great job in the diagnosis department. It is the analysis of that persons particular situation that we need to be more aware of and offer constructive advice if and when warranted.
By no means am I proffering my abilities as a certified counselor in solving anyone’s problems here but my own of course.
Problems, like life, marriage and finances, come in a variety shapes, sizes and depths. Just how far you want to get involved will depend on how much that person is going to allow you into their suffering and misery. Everyone who has a problem tends to want to man (or woman) up and fix it themselves. No one wants to admit having a problem in the first place and they certainly do want to be able to fix whatever their situation is by themselves, and that can lead to whole other set of problems.
Take for instance some of the purported relational problems in a marriage like nagging or arguing. In a recent TV NBC poll it was stated that there is good and bad nagging just like anything else in our relationships. I was however somewhat surprised that the unofficial survey stated that 68% of women versus 32% of men say that they do nag the other person. The problem is described as getting done what work needs to be done in and around the home or business, not necessarily in and around the relationship.
Positive reinforcement to whining has it merits in a marriage.
One of the things that frequently leads to arguments in a relationship is what some would call that incessant whining that a person does “to get their way”.
Just like there can be good and bad nagging, there can be bad and good whining. The positive spin would be like when you say to your mate; pretty please instead of…this is the fiftieth time I have asked you to do this.
In trying to describe another persons problems, you can often fall shot in failing to realize that the source of their problems is your lack of empathy in helping to solve their problem. It is not quite like your average math problem in doing your homework for your business or other finances. The problem here is that the person most likely will not ask or otherwise seek your help and assistance until forced to do so…and that just further adds to their perceived dilemma.
Also stated in that unofficial NBC TV poll were the figures that (on both sides for men and women) showed the primary causes of arguing, nagging and whining was 36% related to money, 30% related to sex…the rest was divided pretty evenly among other kinds of bickering as much as 2,455 times a year!
With a little help, we can certainly offer a few suggestions to help with those statistics.
First and foremost of course is that there is going to have to be better communications in the relationship which is closely followed by a whole lot of openness about the problem(s).
So basically, the problem with describing other peoples problems hinges on not just lip service, but a true and sincere desire to have a genuine interest in helping to resolve the problem before it gets too far out of hand and it gets further split into many more like problems.
Stay well my friend.
A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,