Does Duty Or Doubt Define Your Destiny

What is duty…or more specifically…what does duty mean to you? Most people, given the state of the world today, probably tend to think in military terms of those that serve, have served or are serving to protect and defend. On the other side of the coin, some would think in terms like that of a work ethic type philosophy. Not that the two are exclusively different.

In the realm of marriage and finances, I was thinking the other day about obligations and that of course triggered the thought processes towards duty in the relationship. It would be considered somewhat doubtful, but it could lead to financial obligations, legal obligations…things that bond. If you have had any kind of a past leading to a future with a long lasting relationship, then your sense of duty has been on the forefront of your mind and your marriage for quite sometime. If it hasn’t been, then it needs to be. No doubt about it Sherlock! (reference to the great mystery solver).

Thedefinition of duty goes well beyond the fight or flight scenario in a relationship. Your destiny can be defined by the ethics of fair play in your married life. If you have a will, a hope or a desire to progress in this life, then you would at best tend to do the things that need to be done to get to where you want or need to be.

It may or may not be your destiny to achieve greatness on the world stage, but it is definitely your duty to achieve greatness with your spouse and in your marriage.

So then the question comes about: does duty define your destiny? I highly doubt it. However, there is no way in this simple blog post that I can get you to recline at your computer so that I can put you on the proverbial couch and analyze the whys and why nots of your particular situation to come up with an answer.

I can however try and describe what I have gone through to get to the state I find myself in at the current time. That would be very simply put: I am content.

Love, marriage and finances are more than just the obligatory statements of condition in a marriage. They are part of the foundation set that does define in fact the relationship destiny. The beauty of the duty (try saying that ten times fast!) part is that it involves just as much commitment as preparing for a different kind of battle. Waging war on your personal finances, your obligations, your marriage makes for an interesting work ethic.

You have to have a sense of duty to overcome the constant bombardment of life’s little trial and tribulations that seem to always be incoming. These are often referred to as the enemy of man. These are the things that can ruin or at the very least breakdown a relationship. These are the things that define your destiny.

I know it’s more valiant to go with duty and honor in your married life, but for the sake of argument (another little cornerstone of marriage) I am not doubting the trust and sincerity of your blissful commitment to your spouse, your family or even your job…I am just thinking out loud as a reminder that you must under any and all circumstances, have no fears, worries no doubts when it comes to your future on a day to day basis with the person who has chosen you to be their security in the battle for long, safe marriage.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,
-Lon-

Revival In Your Marriage, Staying Fired Up

It has been said that it would be great if we did not need revival in our lives, especially when it comes to our marriages and finances. If we could only just stay fired up in the relationship like when we first got into it. That would be worth reviving…to the point of where you could not get any more passionate for one another about our married life.

To come this far by faith in ourselves and that marriage as a couple is most certainly the revival spirit that comes from the love, cherish and obey part of life’s commandment. But you and I both know that it does not work like that. Staying fired up and totally focused on the marriage, especially in dealing with finances, is not always easy. Stuff creeps into our lives that can pull our eyes off the care and feeding of the relationship.

When you are having an honest to goodness revival in your personal life, it could be something like hard times, it could be good times, it could be anytime that what I want rules over what we want or need. It could be that sharing and respect thing that we strive to cultivate in our finances, relationship and married life.

Revival teaches us about renewal and rebirth. How to start anew once you have admitted the wrongs and are willing to make advances in the correct or right directions. Married life teaches us clearly and repeatedly that no matter our wants and desires, to revive our relationship in the area of money and finances comes at a price. Remember what revival is: a renewed interest after a period of indifference or decline.
In a marriage that indifference or decline could be from attitudes and actions both past and present of those involved inside and outside the relationship. Well intentioned friends and family can just as easily say and do things that lead to certain downfalls. Just a warning to be wary in those situations.

When I need to be revived, I am so thankful that a kind word from my spouse can lift my spirits and can take me, wake me and shake me to my senses. A supportive spouse is good to show you your need to be and stay fired up. When you feel that, you instantly know that all is well in the marriage and the relationship.

If you feel like your faith is a little off course and needs a little revival of it’s own, you can always look your spouse in the eyes and learn to experience the pleasure that flows from that support by unplugging and releasing the joy that is found deep within your relationship.

Stay here with me and keep reading about our wonderful 30 plus years together as we hope to increase your faith and knowledge in your marriage and finances and help you experience a true and lasting revival. We always look to the heart for a response to revival. Just remember to focus your attention on what a caring spouse is saying to you.
Daily affirmations will help you self examine your relationship in both your marriage and your finances so that you can see what is and is not working in your life. You will learn to recognize it, how to deal with it (not to run or hide from it) and get back on the track to being fired up.

Both me and my spouse want to see you take your new revival and share it with millions of others needing a new way to look and live in their relationship.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,

-Lon-

What Is Maturation In Success And Marriage

Maturation: The gaining of wisdom and self confidence in life and marriage as a unique person to your mate. Say what?! Didn’t know you had any of that did you!
It takes a very mature person to deal with the relationship of married life and dealing with another person.
Take my wife (please!). It’s an old joke, so don’t think too hard on it. To the uninitiated, it means take my wife for example…

There is usually always at least one person in the relationship that has a maturity level that sets the marriage ship on a straight course to longevity. My wife is that person. She’s always planning and keeping track of the major things that make the relationship work. She not only could write a blog, but she could write a book on the very mature subject of marriage, money and the success of both.

It is not easy maturing into a relationship if you don’t have at least some plan in mind. When it comes to money in the marriage, maturity is the cornerstone that cements that part of married life.
It does not always have to be the most severe actions that need to be taken to make the relationship work. The combination of relative sensitivity and communication can go a long ways to mature the household finances. The success of money in the marriage is only a very tiny part of the maturing process if kept in check.

Maturity does not have to be all seriousness all the time. In fact being mature can be a lot of fun if you are serious in going about it. Maturity commands a certain amount of respect and if you act the part it puts you on a level of being knowledgeable about things in life, but especially things in marriage and relationships that can save you time and money and prosper your future. Remember, money is not the root of all evil…it is the love of money that causes all or most of the problems in a marriage.

So after all is said and done, my wife being the mature female, is the one that keeps us grounded financially. That makes my job easy as the mature fun person in this little bunch of two! Keep them laughing, keep them happy…I love my job.

“The man who makes a success of an important venture never wails for the crowd. He strikes out for himself. It takes nerve, it takes a great lot of grit; but the man that succeeds has both. Anyone can fail. The public admires the man who has enough confidence in himself to take a chance. These chances are the main thing after all. The man who tries to succeed must expect to be criticized. Nothing important was ever done but the greater number consulted previously doubted the possibility. Success is the accomplishment of that which most people think can’t be done.” C. V. White

What is maturation…it is the sincere efforts of a genuine relationship that develops in and around two people that can lead to 30 plus years of forever together like ours.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,

-Lon-

Character Is A Tricky Business

Character is a tricky business. It messes with the mind and the heart. it can build you up as fast as it tears you down. There are things in our marriage and married life that were meant for pure pleasure.

When it comes to money and marriage, character plays a very important role in making it last as long as you need or want it to. In married life there is always a certain amount of power and authority that drives the union while at the same time makes character a part of every human beings joys, pains, sorrows and delights.

Whether in your household, next door or a whole world away, the defining aspects of character takes a great deal of caring. These are the kinds of things that make you wish you were a part of that romantic era when your word was your bond. Makes you wish that time was here and now even.

Sure we have the best and the greatest relationships of our world today…but even the most fair minded and caring person in a relationship can appreciate the sensitivity and balance of love, marriage and money.

When one is free to think and dream…one is safe…the strength and character of each individual carries a pretty heavy burden, but it is one that is very genuine and secure and keeps your safe.

Your character is what you know that you need to be doing that is way more than you’re doing to make a living, a life, a future. So the question is why aren’t, what’s holding you back?

My marriage, like a lot of others…is a work in progress. Wen it comes to character it is a building process with the intent to make it very warm and sincere. We all have hopes, dreams and desires. Character in marriage and finances is a place from which a couple can venture into as well as out of, and have an adventure that makes it a wonderful process towards longevity.

We do that at my house by being and staying healthy and relaxed both in character and constant communication while listening to each other.

There are many aspects to character and what I like to see as life being full of choices and of the combinations that you employ will benefit you and your lifestyle to your own choosing. Remember it is your character that makes for great beginnings for bringing the past to a much more comfortable level in your present life! Whether you’re a novice or have the heart and longing of an old pro, you can make a difference in bringing this sense of character into your married life anytime you want.

A Successful life is a balanced life. Achieving your goals in business, relationships, health, finances as well as your marriage simply means helping others…and that builds real character.

It’s you marriage, your life, your money. Take charge of it!

A Friend in Business and Life…Always,

-Lon-

The Broken Relationships In Marriage And Finances

It’s not always a pretty picture to see or be a part of the broken relationship that is caused by finances in a marriage. Broken any things in your life is a set back to a future of happiness with a spouse.
Money seems to always be a devastating area in a marriage. Don’t’ get me wrong here. I am not say that money is the cause of marriage, what I am saying is that it works both ways with money! Whether you’ve got a lot or got very little or even none, it’s not the money…it’s the usage of money that leads to brokenness in the relationship.

The broken or negative aspects of any relationship usually comes about during the process of communication or lack thereof. It will almost always be a combination of issues that lead to the broken chords of discourse in a marriage and finances. This is not to be a blame game session where we start looking for excuses to point fingers. This is more of an awareness and fact finding mission to bring about some positive answers to the broken areas that can certainly be fixed.

Life is full of broken things that tend to scatter lives in a household. Could be a broken tooth, a broken ankle, a broken foot, a broken finger…you get the point. Stuff happens.

Marriage and money happens real hard and real fast. Sometimes it can be as physically painful as the ones mentioned.

Broken pieces of shattered finances can be put back together with a little time and patience. Again back to that communication factor between two people.

Admission is another common broken item that rears it’s ugly head in marriage and finances. Admitting when you’re wrong only leads to a much quicker response time to the repair the broken functions in the relationship.

The relationship may not always be broken because of finances. There are some parts of the relationship that are actually strengthened by the trials and tribulations of certain broken links between two people. It may not necessarily be intended to be a positive, but it certainly has been known to work out that way. Consider yourself very fortunate in that kind f a situation!

The broken items in marriage and finances happen in every marriage. Some more often than others. Some never. But if you are content on having a happy long lasting relationship, the broken things are just another bump on that road to recovery.

No matter if it’s broken hearts or broken checkbooks, being together on one accord is most important in the relationship.

A Friend…in Business…Always,

-Lon-

Learn How To Respect Respect In Your Marriage

Respect is on one hand the ultimate tribute you can pay to your mate very early in the relationship while on the other hand, respect is the ultimate challenge in any marriage.

It’s the law of mankind and humanity.
“One who breaks an unjust law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.”      Martin Luther King Jr.

In respect to how you live in your community of relationships, no one wants to break the law, but the fact of the matter is that respect is a boundary that is mutually recognized in a good marriage. Have you noticed that when you see a person walking towards you at a fast pace, you have a certain amount of respect for them…especially if they have that fierce look about them that they are on a special mission that sets them apart from the rest of us? That is respect and determination.

When we first got married, I had all kinds of respect for people I didn’t know, because they were the then experts in my marriage life. Why? Because like all newlyweds, it is the experience of those others that get you off to a good start. We don’t even stop to entertain the thought that they actually don’t have all the answers. Why? Because that early in your marriage, you don’t even know that there are questions to be asked!

I was watching various family and friends as they participated in some of the pre-marital ceremonies and parties with respect to what they were expecting from the upcoming union.

Pretty amazing how people look at you one way while speaking about you to another person in a totally different manor. That is when I noticed that the person doing this speaking was not out of sorts or just being funny or anything like that…it was more like it was just their way of taking on the world.

With respect to all those happy folks it was like watching a scene from a movie or a dream where you are in a physical position to see the comings and goings of the scene. They did not speak to me directly, but with every bit of the air of sophistication and respect, they would come over to me and at the same time…just seemed to just pass right through me.

That’s when I came to the conclusion that a certain amount of authority and respect must come with their real intentions.

Having respect for people as you get up and going in your new married life is quite a challenge in itself, but certainly not an impossibility. Remember, someday somehow somewhere, you will be the author of that respect in your marriage and you will impart that same wisdom to a young couple who are now in the same position that you were in at one time.

You are certainly not out to break the law in respect to other people in their marriages and you do not expect them to disrespect you in yours either.

Whether intentional or not, the lifestyle and pace of my new married life has always been designed to command a certain amount of respect … and at the same time give back to my spouse the very same kind of authority, respect and empowerment.

A slight detour from the regular ramblings on marriage, but in the vane of walking down the aisle with a life partner, the amount of respect, authority and empowerment that gets shared between the two of you is what can sometimes define the situation that in my case has lasted 30 plus years.

Maybe, just maybe, that is why the walk down the aisle meant to be so slow.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,
-Lon-

Marriage Problems…Bite Me…Again!

This is a revisit to what got me started on writing this post in the first place. Oddly enough, we’re coming up on that heartfelt time of the year when we lavish love upon one another. Well bite me again.

It all started a few years ago with a man, a woman, an apple and a snake.

Well actually the saying “bite me” derived in recent history, but the result is the same.  It comes down to communication in marriage. He said…she said.”

In the world of marriage problems, every marriage has it’s ups and downs and mostly there are a lot of ups to it. When it comes to money in a marriage, there is something o sink your teeth into. It starts out innocently enough with a little too much spending and when it gets tricky enough t,hat you need help, you begin to scramble and sometimes you can get lost in all the goodness that others offer in trying to save you.

Just one of the many trials and tribulations of men and women. There is so much to find out about living in a more about having a happy marriage, not one full of problems.

Not thinking. Well, not thinking …in the moment. A marriage moment

See….she has a grand idea that all is well and he …just flat out is… not thinking. Now you add to the mix deception…the wrangler that instigates and you have…what is marriage. Anyone with any time at all vested in a relationship can tell you that problems in a marriage is basically that of miscommunication. If you don’t or refuse to at least talk about the basics of sharing, loving and communicating with one another, then yes…there will be problems. Money is very often times the cause it and can be overcome with those simple solutions mentioned.

Back there a few years ago in that Garden of Eden, temptation ran afoul and slithered down a branch of the wisdom tree and left a message that maybe you should go ahead and bend the rules a little bit. Well, we all know just how that little venture turned out!
Now let’s not blame it all on a little ‘ol sneaky snake.
The are many many other temptations that fit this little scenario…and that’s what we’ll be talking about as we continue our travels to the land of love and marriage and money.

Being empowered to take charge of your situation is probably the best thing that could ever happen to you…either one or the both of you. Take a bite out of the responsibility pie every once in a while and you’ll be happy to learn that it not only tastes pretty good but the only weight that you will gain is that of lean muscle in making your marriage and relationship stronger in the process.

Really and truly, I am glad that you stopped by. I look forward to your comments and feedback as well as some pretty good stories from your side of the kitchen table as we share a cup of kindness!

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,

-Lon-

You’re Unhappy Because You decide To Be Unhappy

Come on…snap out of it.
That’s usually the advice about married life that you get from those well meaning friends and family about being unhappy. To them it matters not that being unhappy is not just an emotional state for the moment with you, it very much a state of life.

When we first got married I thought my lovely was just naturally cheerful. Quite the contrary. When we first started dating she was frequently unhappy with some of my less than caring ways in which I expressed myself. But she turned that around real quick, using the techniques I’ll try to describe here.

When you’re unhappy, it’s because you’ve decided to be unhappy is the theme of this conversation. Maybe it wasn’t a conscious decision; maybe it crept up on you while you weren’t looking–but it was a decision nonetheless. And that’s good news, because you can decide not to be unhappy and instead to just be plain happy. You just need to understand how and why you make certain decisions.

What are the rules?

Happiness and unhappiness (in work, finances and married life) result entirely from the rules in your head that you use to evaluate these events. Those rules determine what’s worth focusing on, and how you react to what you focus on. Happiness or being unhappy.

Many people have rules that make it very difficult for them to be happy and very easy for them to be unhappy and sometimes downright miserable.

One time early on in the marriage I was explaining to my lovely about this person who was always getting angry with people around her where she worked. The moment anything didn’t go the way she thought it should go, she’d be screaming in somebody’s face. She was making everyone around her miserable–but just as importantly, she was making herself miserable, because just about anything set her off. For her, the everyday nonsense that goes on in every workplace was not just important, but crazy-making important. If she’d only put that much effort into making it like a relationship.

So I asked her what made her happy. Her answer: “The only thing that makes this blankety blank job worthwhile was having a large bank account.” I asked her how often that happened. Her response: “About once a year.” In other words, she had internal rules that guaranteed she’d be unhappy and miserable on a day-to-day basis, but only happy once a year.

As I explained further to the wife…she should have the exact opposite set of rules. My philosophy to her was that every day above ground is a good day. When I encounter setbacks, I shrugged them off–because, according to certain internal rules, they just weren’t that important. In other words, you’re unhappy because you choose to be unhappy.

My strategy: how to make yourself happier in three easy steps:

1. Document your current rules in your marriage. Set aside a half-hour of alone time and, being as honest as you can, write down the answers to these two questions:

What has to happen for me to be happy?

What has to happen for me to be unhappy?

As you examine those rules, have you made it easier to miserable than to be happy? If so, your plan is probably working.

2. Create a better set of rules

Using your imagination, create and record a new set of rules that would make it easy for you to be happy and difficult to be unhappy. Try these examples: “I enjoy seeing the people I work with each day…or, I really hate it when natural disasters destroy my home.”

Don’t worry whether or not these new rules seem realistic–that’s not the point. All internal rules are arbitrary, anyway. And…

3. Post the new rules where you’ll see them. When you’ve completed your set of new rules, print out them out.

Having those new rules visible when you’re doing other things gradually re-programs your mind to believe the new rules. You’ll find that you’re no longer unhappy and you’ll be happy in your work, your marriage and you life. It’s really that simple.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,

-Lon-

Eggs For Dinner With A Side Of Green Beans

It’s a test…it’s a test. There’s funny looking things all over the kitchen. This can only mean one thing.
She’s been watching the cooking channel again. Who knows what what’s going to be served up tonite!
I came home to a room full of wonderful smells that brought back the memories of when we first got married first meals. Did you still have moments like that? Marriage is full of sacrifices.

Well the post this time around is about some of those memories. Not to get all mushy and stuff, but man, when you’re both trying so hard to please each other (sometimes without even knowing it) you have the fun-est time. You get to have all your favorite things in the kitchen. Bacon for breakfast, bacon for lunch, bacon for dinner. Now if she were to make meatloaf with bacon, I’d say we were off and running…

Anyways, looking back on some of those first meals, it certainly must have been love or just plain old hunger pains. Spaghetti…just because….but I digress.
Of course it was the willingness to please one another that you tend to ignore some dislikes in your life. Everybody has foods or items that they just plain don’t like. Me? Not much, just things that are still moving. Fresh is good and all, but sometimes it just needs to be dead to be any good!

I could have breakfast any time of the day, but since you’re supposed to vary the routine and have something green, my lovely offered to pop a top on a can of green beans to round out my meal. Maybe it’s a male thing…but women get it straight away…put it on the plate and we’ll eat it.
Salads are from natures bounty and besides they keep us regular. Even today it’s not uncommon for me to take all the salad fixings, a little fruit and some juice and wash it down…mighty tasty. Just like marriage. Full of all kinds of good things for you.

Satisfaction in your marriage is more than just meals of course but it can be just as expressive. It looks good on your plate of life, it can be a set of well balanced and nutritious healthy attitudes for your relationship. If it’s green beans that seem to be out of place on your plate of eggs, then maybe you need to be a little more venturesome and give it a try. A successful marriage means trying a LOT of different things between the two you…it’s called…compromise. Get used to it. You’ll be eating a lot of it in the years to come.

In those early days and early meals, the test and temptations of marriage and married life were what defined the long lasting relationship. As strange as it may seem, green beans and eggs may be just what you need.

-Lon-

The Constant Examination Of your Values

You should be constantly examining yourself! Not the doctor outward kind of examination, but the inward self seeing kind.
That’s what the man on the radio said this morning as I’m driving down life’s highway. He was talking about finding out where you’re going to be in your future and was of course speaking of our salvation (or lack thereof in this world) . Well, the salvation issue has been resolved, so I continued to listen.
And of course it started me to thinking of what am I doing to preserve or secure a future right here, right now with my marriage, my family, my business…friends and acquaintances.

If there ever was a time to challenge yourself for the rights of self preservation, now certainly is that time. In 30 plus years of marriage, plans have been made from day one. Like so many others who have gone down this road, there has always been a plan…just not very often a plan of action. As persons of interest, we are the greatest at everything we do in our minds eye to better ourselves, but in day to day practicality, we blow it …every single day.

When examining yourself, it never fails that you come to the ultimate conclusion…So much to do..and so little time. That’s how we spend all of our waking moments. Not necessarily worrying about about our future, but very often plotting ways to live it here and now! If I can just make it to the end of the week, the end of the month…sometimes it really is on a day by day basis that we justify our existence. The sad part about that kind of thinking is that we believe it so much that we not only convince ourselves of this justifiable future, but we also do our darnedest to convince everyone around us that they should be living this way too.

Let’s just take your money situation for instance. In examining yourself, are you still putting it under the mattress (in your mind) and hoping it is going to multiply and bring you the joy and pleasure you seek on a daily basis?
Or, are you doing something about it. Are you performing a constant inward examination of yourself? And just how are you doing that? You’ve had tons of years of practice to plan, execute and reap the rewards of whatever makes you happy, but haven’t or don’t on a continual excused based basis.
Hey…that’s on you! It doesn’t have to be that way. You do have options.

Don’t just think about the self examination...in fact you need to...just do it…I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what you are very capable of…what you can do for you, your spouse, your family, friends and future business partners. But you first have to discover the future that is indeed deep within you and only you can release it. Can you? Sure you can! Will you?

Sure you will…and I’m standing right here right now to say that you can and will because you really do want to. You have told yourself you can many many times before…you just happen go that extra step in convincing yourself that now is not the right time.

Hey, as far as a self examination goes, nobody’s ever gonna accuse you of being and living the extravagant life…right!
The point being though is that… it is all you and only you that makes the difference.

It doesn’t have to always be a knock down drag out either. Finances in your married life will always be at the forefront of your existence, but money (or lack of it) does not always have to control your life or your intended life style.

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,

-Lon-